More nonsense borrowed from Jowi hahaha

I thought the "My First Time" survey I grabbed from Jowi would be my first and last time filling up such a thing. So when I saw this one on Jowi's site this morning, I told myself na magpipigil ako.

But then, having slept for two hours before my yoga class this afternoon, I'm so not sleepy yet. So, might as well.

So much for protecting my byline. Hahaha.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A) Four jobs I have had:
1) Writer / Editor at Ayala Museum
2) Human Resources Manager at Globe Telecom (I've tried to erase this from my mind)
3) Head of Internal Communication at Globe Telecom
4) Assistant Brand Manager at Procter & Gamble (took the scenic route to get to where i belong)

B) Four movies I would watch over and over:
1) Love Actually
2) The Devil Wears Prada
3) Borat HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
4) Beauty and the Beast

C) Four Places I've lived:
1) Calantas St., San Antonio Village, Makati (1978 to 1984)
2) Kingsville Subdivision, Antipolo (1984 to 2001)
3) Sarrosa Hotel, Mabolo, Cebu; and Acacia St., Lahug, Cebu (2001 to 2002)
4) Paragon Plaza, EDSA, Mandaluyong City (2003 to present)
(Super info!)

D) Four TV shows I love to watch:
1) Project Runway
2) America's Next Top Model (embarrassingly so)
3) Avatar: The Legend of Aang
4) Jeopardy (nerdaz!)

E) Four favourite places I have been on vacation:
1) Hoi An, Hanoi, and Halong Bay, Vietnam
2) Chiang Mai, Cambodia
3) New York City (48 years ago)
4) And of course, Sur Beach Resort in Boracay

F) Websites visited daily
1) paulophonic.multiply.com
2) www.gmail.com
3) www.friendster.com (like ANTM, embarrasingly so)
4) private! teeheehee

G) Four of my favourite foods
1) char kway teow from banana leaf curry house
2) roti canai with curry dipping sauce from banana leaf curry house
3) tofu furai from sushi-ya (di na nagsawa)
4) nuts... peanuts, almonds, cashews, pistachios, walnuts, pili nuts, you get the idea
(dati cookies but i've eased it out of my diet... ahuhuhuhuhu)

H) Four places you would rather be at now
1) on vacation in prague
2) on vacation in istanbul
3) on vacation in vienna
4) on vacation in florence
*sigh*

I) Four Names You Go By:
1) Paulo
2) Tirol
3) Rolti (high school!)
4) Ti*ol (grade school!)

J) Four Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1) yellow All Boxed Up t-shirt circa 1996 na pambahay na ngayon (in fairness sa tibay)
2) short short shorts
3) nothing else, teehee! :-)

K) Four things you ate today:
1) starbucks tomato mozzarella basil multigrain bagel for breakfast. panalo!
2) club house sandwich at delifrance for lunch
3) about a liter of water after bikram yoga... does that count?
4) salami sandwich on whole wheat bread and a cup of whole grain cereal for dinner

L) Four things that attract you to the opposite sex:
(i assume in my case, "opposite" means "same")
1) mukhang malinis... at sana malinis talaga
2) substance... including wit, intelligence, purpose and passions
3) talent... yung totoong talent ha, hindi yung feeling talented
4) honesty and transparency... hwag yung ma-issues at ma-bullshit

M) Four of Your Favourite Things to do:
1) watch movies with james
2) eat out with james
3) do bikram yoga (not with james :-p)
4) sit at the piano for hours and just play

N) Four Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1) pants that fit.
2) improved performance in yoga (even after 3 months, there's still a load of poses i can't do)
3) to get my car back (no joke getting a cab to and from makati every day)
4) to be in Boracay

O) Four pets you had/have:
1) a bunch of dogs, in succession... Aldus and Alex were my most recent, and my favorites
2) a cat named "Cat" (in retrospect, how very Breakfast at Tiffany's!); and another cat named Furface
3) a couple of rabbits named Clyde and Cassidy. one of them bit my finger, damn him
4) a bunch of chicks (as in sisiw) bought at the grade school fair... ang cute nung maliit, pero di namin naisip nung binili na lalaki pala yun... ayun, lumaki nga, ang ingay at ang baho... kinatay na lang at pinrito ni Inay mwahahahahaha

P) Four things you did last night:
1) ate at Silk with James, Migs and Prime
2) looked around Fully Booked in Bonifacio High Street (ahlaveht!)
3) mornangzed at Coffee Bean in High Street with James, Migs, and Prime, plus Domi, Kenneth, Harry and Dave... and realized there's nothing healthy on Coffee Bean's menu
4) borlogs

Q) Four people you last properly talked to in the flesh:
1) James, before saying good night (kanina pa siya tulog)
2) Prime, after bikram yoga
3) Betty, the Thai bikram yoga teacher
4) my boss Anoop... I told him my computer was being fixed by IT and thus I'd be computerless for 24 hours... and he told me, "Go home."

R) Four Things you're doing tomorrow:
1) choose my outfit for the day (always a challenge)
2) get my computer back and hoping to it's honest-to-goodness fixed this time
3) write an email to officialize a decision to postpone a project... bla bla bla who cares
4) go to the Hangad core group meeting

S) Four people you live with:
1) James
2) Bubba
3) Yunnan
4) Lala
(Bubba, Yunnan and Lala are teddy bears... along with Harrod, Sem-Sem, and an army of others whose names I don't remember right now.)

T) Four silly things you've done:
1) wrote a poem for a girl.
2) wrote a song for the same girl.
3) asked her to a high school dance.
4) told her, when she said "i love you pau" in a letter -- "don't say that, we're not ready"
AHAHAHAHAHA!!!

U) Four foods you dislike:
1) any seafood... yes, including crab, lobsters, oysters and nori
2) pinoy stuff... tinola, kare-kare, pakbet, afritada, sinigang... the kind of stuff lolas make :-p
3) chewing gum, ewwh
4) beer, bleecch

V) Four things you hate:
1) people with issues... whatever it is, my dears, get over it
2) overly perky bibo people. i roll my eyes at them (several times a day, in the office, in fact)
3) mediocrity... both others', and my own
4) people with poor breeding... that includes loud unmodulated voices, distasteful conversation topics, underuse of "pleases" and "thank yous", interrupting you when you're talking... ok tama na

W) Four things you've used today:
1) my cell phone
2) my laptop... until 12 NN today when i gave it to IT support ahuhuhu
3) my yoga mat, whee!
4) james' computer, because mine's with IT support ahuhuhu

X) Four things you're doing/have done today
1) worked... or rather, tried to
2) accompany james to st luke's for a post-laser surgery check-up
3) done bikram yoga with prime (it's his second session! sana may iba pang sumama :-D)
4) read blogs and write in my blog

Y) Four favourite books:
1) Dogeaters by Jessica Hagedorn
2) Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
3) Watchmen by Dave Gibbons and Alan Moore
4) Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote (it's even better than the movie)

Z) Four things you want to achieve in your life time:
1) live in Boracay
2) see the world with James
3) write the music for a complete Mass -- DONE! :-D
4) bring smiles to the faces of friends and strangers alike

Just when you thought my motoring misadventures were over...

Yes, a long 15 months after my last driving-related mishap (i.e., the evil fire hose cabinet shattering my rear windshield... see http://paulophonic.multiply.com/journal/item/26/Motoring_Misadventures), and just when I thought my luck on the road was getting better -- the gods of motoring thought it would be funny to screw with me again.

It wasn't my fault this time. Well, not entirely. There's this guard in the condo who's less alert, less quick, and less pleasant than all the others. He doesn't control traffic at the condo's parking entrance, which has resulted in a quite a few near-collisions as vehicles enter and exit; he takes forever to open the barrier gate to the parking when you're pulling in; and when you drive past, he neither salutes nor nods, he just gives you a blank stare.

Last Thursday, on my way to work, I started down the ramp connecting the 4th floor parking lot to the street. At the bottom of the ramp, Mr Guard lazily gave the barrier gate a push, letting it swing open towards the wall on which it was mounted.

More than halfway down the ramp and having accelerated considerably, I noticed Mr Guard was raising his palm to say, "Uhm, stop." "Uhm", because it was so half-assed and non-committal -- palm up as if patting a dog, or praying over someone.

In fact, I only realized it was "stop" when I noticed that, from the force of his push, the barrier gate had swung fully open, bounced against the wall -- and was swinging back towards my car.

Foot all the way down on the brakes. Screeching tires. Not good enough, with how much speed I'd gained, the incline of the ramp, and Mr Guard's "uhm, stop" coming way too late. The barrier gate's ugly tip connected with the front of my car.

I threw dagger looks at Mr Guard, a few meters ahead of me. He stared back stupidly. "Bakit mo kasi tinutulak lang," I said, getting out of the car. "Sir, ang bilis kasi ng takbo niyo..." he said feebly.

"Saan tumama?" I said, circling towards the front of the car, dreading to find a shattered headlight or a big ugly dent. Surprisingly, none. "Wala sir, lumusot sa ilalim." Sure enough, the gate had gone through the grill below the fender.

Lucky for him. "Sa susunod, hwag mong basta itulak lang," I said sternly, as I got back in the car and drove off, thinking that was that.

Unfortunately, that wasn't that. It took me only a few minutes to notice the aircon, while blowing, was not getting cold. And still fewer minutes after that, to notice a weird clacking sound starting to come from my engine.

I stopped by a gas station, deciding to ignore the clacking and hoping the air con thing was just lack of water. But my worst fears were confirmed when the gas attendant said -- "Sir, nangangamoy yung coolant niyo."

It was only then that I crouched down, peered through the front grill, and saw that there was a huge dent in my radiator, and that stuff was dripping -- no, pouring out of it. Even the water the attendant poured in was just pouring right back out onto the ground.

"Dalhin ko na sa casa, sa Magallanes," I said to myself, aloud.

"Sir, medyo malayo yun, baka hindi na po umabot..."

I steeled myself for the worst. Windows down, I drove back to the condo to pick up my insurance policy. (Why the hell wasn't it in the car?!) On my way out of the building, I raised a complaint to the head of security. Mr Guard still stuck to his "sir, masyadong mabilis ang takbo mo" and his half-witted stare. The head of security said the fault was ours both -- me for my speed, him for just pushing the gate -- so what did I want to do? Well, I said, I don't expect you to do anything, my priority now is to bring the car to Honda, and I don't suppose you have insurance for this kind of thing? No, he said. Bitchy shrug, and off I went. I know far better than to argue with security people.

Not far from the condo, the "overheating" indicator on the dashboard started blinking. Good thing Tatay's and Jo-Ed's cars used to overheat quite often, so I kinda knew how to handle it. I stopped at another gas station for a refill of water. Even so, halfway between this gas station and Honda, the indicator started blinking again.

Finally, I got the car to Honda. In one piece, thanks God. And thank God, again, for Honda's in-house insurance. No funny looks, no interrogations, no red tape. In fact, then and there, I was able to get an estimate of the cost of repairs, and leave the car to have the work started. (Not as if the car was going anywhere anyway.)

So there. With Honda's estimate for the repair timeline, James and I will be carless for 10 days. With a hole in my radiator and my condenser, and a crumpled engine fan, the cost of repairs is estimated at over P45,000. And I've yet to get any sign of remorse from Mr Guard, from the condo's security office, or the property administration. Just they wait till they get my letter of complaint... and anyone who's read hate mail from me should know that these offenders had damn better gird their loins.

On the bright side... First, my insurance will be paying for over 90% of the repairs, which gives me automatic payout and then some on my premium, which was less than 50% of the repair costs. (Just like last year, when repairs on my rear windshield exceeded my premium... I am so blacklisted, hahaha.) Second, even I was surprised that I largely remained calm throughout the whole mess. (Must be yoga training... "breathe... breathe... just... f**cking... breathe...") And third, I feel really lucky that, in all the times I've screwed up on the road, I've never injured myself, or anyone else.

Time to get reaccustomed with the cab-dependent life. And hopefully it will be more than 15 months before my next mishap.

My first time...

Stolen from Jowi's site. These things are such fun! :-)

1. Who was your FIRST prom date? I didn't go to my prom. But when ACMG had a prom-themed induction ball in 1998, my date was Mylene, and we were prom king and queen... I think it was because my socks matched her red dress, hahaha... but it was James who gave me a corsage, teeheehee :-)

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love? No. Maiirita lang ako.

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink? Mompo. Hahaha. Red wine siguro. I don't remember.

4. What was your FIRST job? I interned at Probe Team. That was exciting, since it was the summer of the 1998 elections. But I don't know if that counted as a job because I didn't get paid, hahaha. My first paid job was with Ayala Museum as Writer and Editor.

5. What was your FIRST car? Honda Jazz.

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today? Kenneth, asking "Whatchadoin?"

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning? James. Teehee! :-)

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher? Ms Maria Victoria Tirona. What a bitch. My mom hated her.

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane? Zamboanga. I was 3 and Tatay had to go there for work and brought the whole family. I cried like crazy on the plane.

10. Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends with them? My cousin Jebboy. Yup, we're still friends.

11. What was your FIRST sport played? Wahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Does piko with my cousins count?

12. Where was your FIRST sleep over? With all my cousins at my grandparents' house, a.k.a. "Catmon", because it was along Catmon St. in Makati.

13. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today? James. Pero tulog pa siya so di siya sumagot.

14. Whose wedding were you in the first time? Tito Val. I was a reader. My barong was bitin.

15. What was the fisrt thing you did this morning? Do bikram yoga :-D

16. Where was your FIRST vacation? The same Zamboanga trip as in #9. The only thing I remember apart from bawling on the plane was getting scared of the coin divers outside our hotel window.

17. First tattoo or piercing? I wish.

18. FIRST foreign country you went to? Hong Kong

19. What was your FIRST run in with the law? Driving without a license. See my separate blog entry on that. :-p

20. When was your FIRST detention? Walang detention sa school. Pero the worst sanction I ever got was a jug. Even when my barkada and I tried getting a post towards the end of fourth year high school -- just to experience it, hahaha -- hindi natuloy kasi hindi kami nahuli sa pag-cut ng CAT.

21. What was the FIRST state you lived in? Xushal na tanong!

22. Who was the FIRST person to break your heart? Ay ang sakit! Bakit naman kasi girls ang gusto niya.

23. Who was your FIRST roommate? My older brother Jo-Ed. For the first 22 years of my life!!

24. Where did you go on your FIRST limo ride? Masasagot ko 'to next year pag natanggap na ako sa America's Next Top Model.

Sharing through World Vision

Some years back I watched a DVD of the Jack Nicholson movie About Schmidt. I didn't like it, but there was one thing in it that struck me -- a subplot in which Nicholson corresponded with a child from Africa, whose education he was sponsoring through an outreach program. I found the idea interesting -- that you could not only support a child financially, but also form a relationship with him.

A few days after watching About Schmidt, I learned that there really were such outreach programs when I passed an orange and white booth in SM Megamall with the words "World Vision" on it. From the brochure I was handed, I learned that through this Christian relief, development, and advocacy organization called World Vision, you could sponsor a kid -- which meant making regular donations that would be used for the general welfare and development of the kid and his or her community, and also keeping a regular correspondence with your kid.

I got excited about it, but unfortunately the brochure and sign-up form just ended up in one of my piles of papers at home. It stayed there for several years. Even when I came across it again some months back and filled it up, I never got around to faxing it. Bad, bad me.

Luckily, I came across the World Vision booth again a few days back, in Robinsons Galleria.

Then and there I signed up to sponsor two kids. From a bunch of kids' profiles (you choose your beneficiaries), I chose the youngest boy, 8-year-old Aivan Kahlil, and the youngest girl, 7-year-old Hanna Mae, both of whom live in remote villages in Palawan. On a small piece of paper shaped like a pencil, I wrote each of them my first note: "Kumusta? Ako si Kuya Paulo, mahilig ako sa music. Kayo, ano mga hilig niyo? Ingatan niyo pamilya niyo at mag-aral kayo nang mabuti. Sana mas makilala ko pa kayo..."



The volunteers at the booth, Kenneth and Me-An, explained that I could write as often as I wanted, and I could also expect a letter from my sponsored kids at least once a quarter. And at the end of each year, I'd also get an update on the kids' community, photos, and a copy of the kids' grades. If I wanted, I could even ask for World Vision's help arranging to meet with my kids.


For each sponsored kid, P450 will be charged to my credit card each month. (You can also pay in cash or through check, but credit card is the most hassle-free.) The money goes to programs for the kids and their communities, to provide them education, safe water, medical assistance, health programs and livelihood trainings, among others. And with the relationship World Vision bridges between my kids and me, my monthly pledges become deeper and much more meaningful than a dole-out.

Personally, I'm excited to get my first letters from Aivan Kahlil and Hanna Mae; and excited too about where this will go over the next year. Maybe I'll sponsor more kids eventually.

Here's the welcome kit you get when you sign up for World Vision.
It includes a booklet explaining where donations go
and how you go about corresponding with your kids;
a brief on your sponsored kids' communities;
your sponsored kids' picture folders;
and as a bonus, a baller-type bracelet (is that what they're called?)
with the WorldVision logo on it.

What's sad is that I don't think World Vision gets that many donors. For a whole day in a busy mall like Robinsons Galleria, they're already happy with eight sponsorships in one day. That's why I'm writing -- because I promised the volunteers at the booth I'd tell my friends about World Vision, and hopefully get people interested in signing up.

So do visit http://www.blogger.com/www.worldvision.org.ph or http://www.wvi.org/ and find out more about World Vision. They also have booths in Galleria and Megamall this whole summer -- it only takes a few minutes to sign up. :)

3 months, 25 pounds, 6th place, an iPod, and the realization I'm not so physically inept after all

Over the years, I've gotten recognition for a few things. Academics, creative work, and work performance. But never anything physical.

I don't have any sports, not even volleyball. I've surrendered to the fact that I can never be in musical theater because of the two leftest feet you've ever seen. I find myself gasping after swimming just 50 meters. I've never caught a ball thrown at me, ever. If I could have flunked high school because of P.E., I probably would have. Even my posture is something Inay has to correct everytime she sees me.

But last April 4, I got my first physical recognition ever: 6th place in our office-wide weight loss contest, having lost 25 pounds, or 13.7% of my starting weight, over 90 days. I won an iPod Nano for it. Hooray for me!

I lost 25 pounds in three months, and all I have to show for it is an iPod Nano.
My consolation: I sold it at a higher price than SRP. Hahaha, thanks Cathy. :-p

The weight-loss contest was something our HR group launched last January, to promote "wellness" -- or, to put it simply, there were just too many fat people in the office already. The 15 people with the highest percentage weight loss come April 4 would win prizes.

Even before the contest was announced, I had already resolved to lose weight. P&G veterans talk about the "Freshman 15" -- the 15 pounds you gain in your first year. I myself ballooned after entering, thanks to the loads of stress and loads of food, and hardly any time and energy to exercise. I stopped weighing myself after reaching my freshman 15 -- I wasn't doing anything about it anyway, so what was the point? -- but I still kept gaining weight. And last November, I started getting chest pains, shortness of breath, and worst of all, my clothes wouldn't fit anymore. (Only when I weighed-in for the contest last January did I learn that I had already gained over 20 pounds since joining the company. Horrors!)

These were taken in Boracay, during the 2007 Christmas holidays --
a few days before the diet started,
and at the peak of my weight gain. They're funny now.
But I shudder imagining myself taking off my shirt at the beach during that trip.

That did it. Health and fashion -- plus the knowledge I would soon be moving to a new assignment which required me to look good -- meant I had damn better start getting in shape. I started on January 1, even before the contest was announced.

It started with a diet. The easy parts were: no rice (I'm more of a bread and pasta person anyway); no softdrinks (I've never been a softdrinks person); and no alcohol (I never touch beer, and wine and other drinks are a social thing). The tougher parts were: no fast food (I came from eating Big Mac meals thrice a week); no iced tea, unless brewed (I was one of those suckers who thought iced tea was a health drink, and one of those idiots who tried to maximize payout on bottomless iced tea by refilling my glass five times); and worst of all, no dessert, no sweets, no cookies (this was a killer, especially the frappuccinos, the banana smoothie, and the cookies). In retrospect, it wasn't that difficult. Except for cookies, I was still able to eat most of the stuff I love -- sandwiches, pasta, pizza, noodles; Italian, Thai, Malaysian, Japanese, Mediterranean food; and of course, yum yum, water.

Second thing was to start working out. To hell with working nights and working on weekends. There were more important things. So there came my Norma Desmond moment of stepping back into the gym -- yes, everything was as if we never said goodbye -- five times a week for two-hour workouts including 50 minutes of cardio. It's not so bad as long as you're listening to the right music. Hairspray, Wicked, and a bunch of a cappella tracks kept me occupied.

And the clincher was something I had been curious about for over a year, but never had the guts to try. Well, in my desperation, now was the best time for Bikram Yoga, which is 90 minutes of yoga in a heated room (http://www.bikramyogamanila.com). I found out on my first session that it was about more than just a heated room. Unlike the new age, dimly-lit, meditation-centric Hatha Yoga I had done two years ago, Bikram Yoga was like going through CAT all over again. The room was fully lit, the heat and the intensity of the routine had you dripping sweat like a faucet, teachers would bark orders, and they would call out your name when you'd screw up. (Eg., Betty the Thai teacher: "Shuck in yoh sshtomach, Paulo! Touch yoh foh-head to yoh knee ev-y-bah-dee! Ken!! Ish that yoh foh-head, Ken?! Tha'sh not yoh foh-head, Ken!!") Several times, I found myself wanting to collapse, or puke, or just die.

Bikram Yoga's "standing bow-pulling pose."
I'm still along way off from the perfecting the pose (that's teacher Betty at right)
but believe me, I've already made HUGE progress vs when I'm started.

But the masochist inside me kept me going back for more. After my introductory week, I signed up for a month, and then another month. After all, the weight loss was tangible, I saw my performance in class improving slowly but steadily, I felt great, and I was doing once unimaginable things like touching my forehead (foh-head!) to my knees. I loved it so much, that when I thought I'd stop Bikram for a while and just focus on the gym, I couldn't help but sign up for Bikram again after just a week (this time it was another studio in Greenhills, http://www.bikramyoga.ph, cheaper by around 20%).

So there. Today, I'm 25 pounds lighter, half my clothes are too big, and the other half of my clothes are resurrected from my pre-P&G days. For winning 6th place, I got an iPod Nano and sold it to an officemate for P8k -- it hardly made up for what I spent on Bikram Yoga, but who cares? The contest was just a bonus. More important is that I feel great and my clothes fit again. And even after winning, I'm still watching what I eat (though I might give myself one dessert a week soon), working out (I'll need to find a new soundtrack soon, Hairspray's wearing thin), and doing Bikram Yoga (maybe one day I'll actually be able to perfect that standing split).

Me and Anama on the day of the win. Anama won 11th place (I think),
but more importantly, was one of only three girls to place in the top 15.
I think I have a big ass in this photo. Anama thinks I'm developing an eating disorder.
Hahaha. Go Top Model!

The Care Bears used to say, "You can do anything, if you put your mind to it." Bee-yotch that I was, even as a kid, it made me roll my eyes no end. But as I've gotten older, I've learned Tenderheart Bear wasn't so full of crap after all.

So... anyone up for dancing lessons?

Motoring Misadventures

While cleaning out my wallet early last week, I realized that my driver's license had already was already 20 days expired. Not wanting to risk any untoward incidents on the road, I took the morning off the very next day, and renewed my license at the LTO center in Robinson's Galleria. Luckily, it all went smoothly. No accidents and no getting caught by MMDA's while my license was expired -- which was unusual, given what kind of luck I've had on the road.

I learned to drive pretty late. Just three years ago, in fact, when James gave me the practice and confidence I needed. I had taken lessons way back in 1995, but never it didn't help that my brother Jo-Ed's idea of practice was driving three nervous circles around the village on first gear. It also didn't help that, on our third and last practice session ever, Jo-Ed was teaching me to back up in a cul de sac when I exclaimed, "Oh my God, a cute guy!" -- and heard the shattering of flowerpot from behind the car. Jo-Ed didn't buy my excuse that cute guys were a rarity in our neighborhood, and that my exclamation was well-deserved. And we never got in the car together again.

That cute-guy-at-the-sari-sari-store-in-the-cul-de-sac incident might as well have been a premonition of my driving a decade later.

INCIDENT # 1. I don't know if you'd agree, but I have the weird belief that everyone has to get into a car accident once in their driving lives. That came true for me in a stupid, but luckily rather safe way. A few months into my job, I had brought the car to a research agency near the office -- note that it was actually close enough to walk, haha -- and on the way back to the office I took an alternate route. Turning into Ayala from a sidestreet, I looked left at oncoming traffic -- I remember I even had a smug smile on my face, proud that I was smart enough to look out for oncoming traffic. Apparently I wasn't smart enough, because as I looked left I hadn't realized I was gliding steadily forward -- until there came the ugly, ugly crunch of metal as my bumper rammed into the rear end of the van stopped in front of me. Smart, smart, smart. Luckily it was pretty minor -- and I had fulfilled my mandatory "once-in-my-lifetime" car accident.

INCIDENT # 2. Or so I thought. One accident in your lifetime apparently doesn't get you off the hook. Though in retrospect, incident # 2 probably wasn't really an accident -- so much as it was an act of utter idiocy.

Hangad was in two cars on the way to Bulacan for a concert in 2005 -- a whole bunch of people in Domi's van, and fewer in my car with James driving. On NLEX, one of Domi's tires burst and the van swerved suddenly. We pulled over, van then car. No one was hurt -- yet.

Initially it was fun and funny. We seized the opportunity to have a pictorial on NLEX (how often do you actually get to set foot on NLEX, after all?), and Hangad's not-so-manly-men were taking turns trying to operate the jack.

The real fun started when, more than halfway through changing the tire, JC told me that our car was still unlocked. Thanks, I told him -- and I put to work a very important lesson from childhood to always lock your car. I got into the passenger seat. The motor was still running, the radio and air-con were on. And without giving it any thought, I locked the driver's door from the passenger side, locked the passenger door -- and got back out.

The satisfied smile that my car was now safe quickly turned to a horrified frown as the realization sank in. One car key in the ignition, the other in my bag in the trunk, and all doors locked. I felt sick to my stomach as I approached James, who was taking his turn at the jack; I bent down beside him, and whispered -- "I locked the keys inside the car."

"Hindi nga?"

In fairness to James, he didn't make it any worse than it already was. We looked at several options. I called my salesman from Honda, he was no help and didn't even seem interested in helping (which is why I bought my second car from someone else, the asshole). I clambered over the concrete barriers, through a break in the fence, to ask a talyer by the service road for wire with which to pick the locks. They had wire, but I had no talent in lock-picking.

The NLEX patrol had come along by this time. With trepidation they made the only viable suggestion -- break the window nearest my bag and reach in for the key. Fine. Big sigh. Jack. Towel. And a dull weak thud against the back window. I couldn't do it.

I handed the makeshift mace to one of the patrolmen, assured him he could go ahead and do it, then ran away as far as I could, hands over my ears, unwilling to see it happen.

When I had gathered the courage to walk back to the car, there was a gaping hole where the window used to be. I reached in, grabbed my key, opened the car, cleaned out the bits of broken glass, and did my best to cover the window with plastic. (It stayed that way for a few days -- good thing the office car maintenance allowance covered the repair.) We made it to Bulacan in time for the concert. And I thanked God for getting me through what was possibly the dumbest dumb luck of my life -- and resolved to be more mindful of my car in the future.

INCIDENT # 3. I would find months later that the dumbest dumb luck was yet to come. And that I was really forgetful about lessons I ought to learn.

James and I had lunch in Rockwell to celebrate a job offer he'd gotten. After dropping him off at his office, I was in my office's basement parking lot. There should have been nothing eventful about it -- I had backed into parking slots in that same basement hundreds of times -- but I guess I underestimated the evil fire hose cabinet lurking behind me, just waiting to make my day.

From the back of my months-young hatchback (I had just joined P&G and gotten a new car), there came the ugly, ugly crunch of metal -- and then of plexiglass cracking, and shattering, and falling bit by bit in tiny shards. In the rear view mirror I could see bits of my rear window falling inwards, into the trunk. First there came a few seconds of shock. I got out of the car and saw the culprit -- the fire hose cabinet had dented the metal and bent the window -- and still in shock, climbed back into the car. With trembling hands, dialed James' number -- and that's when the wild screaming started. "ANG... TANGA... TANGA... KO!!!!"

Fortunately I had enough wits about me to check for my insurance policy, and I was smart enough to keep it in the car. I dialed the number -- fortunately again, the policy I had gotten had some kind of priority status, which meant I could just drive into Honda and have it fixed that same afternoon. Thank God.

But that meant having to get to Honda first. I sped out of the parking lot -- yes, sped, because I didn't want the added hassle of the guards blaming me for breaking the glass on their stupid fire hose cabinet. Every meter I drove, could here glass tinkling and shifting, and I had to look in the rear view mirror every so often to make sure my window was still there. It was actually amusing, on EDSA, that I was parting the traffic behind me, with cars were moving out from behind me into other lanes. On the other hand, it was NOT funny when, near Honda, I didn't see a hump and sped over it and landed hard on the ground. Surprisingly, I still had a rear window after that.

Things went smoothly at Honda. Insurance was processed quickly, the service team was very professional, and I was relieved to find out I would get my car back in two days. Even my boss was very understanding when I told him I'd be taking the afternoon off. And I was pleasantly surprised to find the premium for my car insurance renewal was lower than I thought.

INCIDENT # 4. For a year after I got my license, I was still driving license-less. That's because, after a whole day of being manhandled by the LTO, I was told to come back because the license printing machine had conked out. Not wanting to waste another whole day at LTO, I relied on my license receipt.

Until one day shortly after I got my new company car, an MMDA flagged me down for having no license plates. Confidently I showed him my LTO registration, showing that I was still within the grace period for platelessness. He nodded, then asked for my license. I handed him my receipt.

"This is one year old," he said. "You should have gotten your license card by now."

No matter how I argued about LTO machine breakdowns and my busy schedule, he made a strong argument that driving without a license was a huge offense and could land me in jail. The only thing he listened to was Ninoy Aquino, and that was the very first time I became part of the cycle of corruption.

Agitated and unwilling to get into more trouble, I drove with utmost care to the office and immediately got in a cab to get to the LTO in Pasay.

Ironically, it only took me five minutes to get my license. No more manhandling, no fixers. My taxi ride to the LTO was actually longer than my time there. Leaving the LTO, I looked up to the sky -- "You get me in trouble for something I could have easily avoided... very funny, God."

In fairness to me, it's been a while since I had a mishap on the road. And I guess the urgency with which I renewed my license shows I'm actually getting better at learning my lessons.