Just when you thought my motoring misadventures were over...

Yes, a long 15 months after my last driving-related mishap (i.e., the evil fire hose cabinet shattering my rear windshield... see http://paulophonic.multiply.com/journal/item/26/Motoring_Misadventures), and just when I thought my luck on the road was getting better -- the gods of motoring thought it would be funny to screw with me again.

It wasn't my fault this time. Well, not entirely. There's this guard in the condo who's less alert, less quick, and less pleasant than all the others. He doesn't control traffic at the condo's parking entrance, which has resulted in a quite a few near-collisions as vehicles enter and exit; he takes forever to open the barrier gate to the parking when you're pulling in; and when you drive past, he neither salutes nor nods, he just gives you a blank stare.

Last Thursday, on my way to work, I started down the ramp connecting the 4th floor parking lot to the street. At the bottom of the ramp, Mr Guard lazily gave the barrier gate a push, letting it swing open towards the wall on which it was mounted.

More than halfway down the ramp and having accelerated considerably, I noticed Mr Guard was raising his palm to say, "Uhm, stop." "Uhm", because it was so half-assed and non-committal -- palm up as if patting a dog, or praying over someone.

In fact, I only realized it was "stop" when I noticed that, from the force of his push, the barrier gate had swung fully open, bounced against the wall -- and was swinging back towards my car.

Foot all the way down on the brakes. Screeching tires. Not good enough, with how much speed I'd gained, the incline of the ramp, and Mr Guard's "uhm, stop" coming way too late. The barrier gate's ugly tip connected with the front of my car.

I threw dagger looks at Mr Guard, a few meters ahead of me. He stared back stupidly. "Bakit mo kasi tinutulak lang," I said, getting out of the car. "Sir, ang bilis kasi ng takbo niyo..." he said feebly.

"Saan tumama?" I said, circling towards the front of the car, dreading to find a shattered headlight or a big ugly dent. Surprisingly, none. "Wala sir, lumusot sa ilalim." Sure enough, the gate had gone through the grill below the fender.

Lucky for him. "Sa susunod, hwag mong basta itulak lang," I said sternly, as I got back in the car and drove off, thinking that was that.

Unfortunately, that wasn't that. It took me only a few minutes to notice the aircon, while blowing, was not getting cold. And still fewer minutes after that, to notice a weird clacking sound starting to come from my engine.

I stopped by a gas station, deciding to ignore the clacking and hoping the air con thing was just lack of water. But my worst fears were confirmed when the gas attendant said -- "Sir, nangangamoy yung coolant niyo."

It was only then that I crouched down, peered through the front grill, and saw that there was a huge dent in my radiator, and that stuff was dripping -- no, pouring out of it. Even the water the attendant poured in was just pouring right back out onto the ground.

"Dalhin ko na sa casa, sa Magallanes," I said to myself, aloud.

"Sir, medyo malayo yun, baka hindi na po umabot..."

I steeled myself for the worst. Windows down, I drove back to the condo to pick up my insurance policy. (Why the hell wasn't it in the car?!) On my way out of the building, I raised a complaint to the head of security. Mr Guard still stuck to his "sir, masyadong mabilis ang takbo mo" and his half-witted stare. The head of security said the fault was ours both -- me for my speed, him for just pushing the gate -- so what did I want to do? Well, I said, I don't expect you to do anything, my priority now is to bring the car to Honda, and I don't suppose you have insurance for this kind of thing? No, he said. Bitchy shrug, and off I went. I know far better than to argue with security people.

Not far from the condo, the "overheating" indicator on the dashboard started blinking. Good thing Tatay's and Jo-Ed's cars used to overheat quite often, so I kinda knew how to handle it. I stopped at another gas station for a refill of water. Even so, halfway between this gas station and Honda, the indicator started blinking again.

Finally, I got the car to Honda. In one piece, thanks God. And thank God, again, for Honda's in-house insurance. No funny looks, no interrogations, no red tape. In fact, then and there, I was able to get an estimate of the cost of repairs, and leave the car to have the work started. (Not as if the car was going anywhere anyway.)

So there. With Honda's estimate for the repair timeline, James and I will be carless for 10 days. With a hole in my radiator and my condenser, and a crumpled engine fan, the cost of repairs is estimated at over P45,000. And I've yet to get any sign of remorse from Mr Guard, from the condo's security office, or the property administration. Just they wait till they get my letter of complaint... and anyone who's read hate mail from me should know that these offenders had damn better gird their loins.

On the bright side... First, my insurance will be paying for over 90% of the repairs, which gives me automatic payout and then some on my premium, which was less than 50% of the repair costs. (Just like last year, when repairs on my rear windshield exceeded my premium... I am so blacklisted, hahaha.) Second, even I was surprised that I largely remained calm throughout the whole mess. (Must be yoga training... "breathe... breathe... just... f**cking... breathe...") And third, I feel really lucky that, in all the times I've screwed up on the road, I've never injured myself, or anyone else.

Time to get reaccustomed with the cab-dependent life. And hopefully it will be more than 15 months before my next mishap.